Regarding Cate

I don’t think that I’m being unreasonable to be a bit miffed over this unreasonable reply from Australia’s art community to my response to Bill Henson’s photographs. Seriously people what do you want me to do? Do you really think that the people who think that we need a five cent petrol tax cut can understand the nuances that surround this type of argument? Do you think it would be helpful for the PM to engage in a discussion about what is art? The photos aren’t really all that good to be honest, if you want to run an anti censorship argument that the general public will support you in hang your hat on some soft porn out of France, leave the kiddies out of it.

I’m particularly hurt by the fact that Cate decided to put her name to the letter. I mean I skipped John Button’s funeral to visit her and her baby, gave her top billing at the 2020 summit and this is how she repays me? I’ve told Peter Garrett to let her know that she can forget coming over to The Lodge for drinks on Friday night. The down side of this is that it means that Hugh Jackman will be coming over. Hopefully Jeeves can entertain him.


2 responses to “Regarding Cate

  1. Master, I trust that my selection of ties met with your approval this morning. As always, I shall serve at your pleasure and entertain Mr Jackson, although I will miss the lovely, er, I mean that bitch, Cate; the staff and I have yet to see who won the bet to guess where her accent is from (I know Daphne, the chamber maid, is out of the running because she picked Russia and it is clear that she can’t do that one). Might I be so bold as to suggest that you also invite a US TV critic to supper? I would not like for the Master to have to sit through another evening of Mr Jackson breaking into a song and dance routine to pass the salt and thank the Lady for her hospitality – most vulgar.

    As an aside; I believe the Master will make a wonderful art critic (Art Critic in Chief, perhaps?). You displayed marvellous taste in removing from the Lodge those hideous self portraits and bronzed statuettes of a pygmy in glasses that the last occupant left behind. We still have not recovered the cleaning costs of removing the unidentified sticky substance from the life sized portrait of Ricky Ponting that hung in the bathroom and the staff are still un-able to watch re-runs of Keeping Up Appearances after seeing The Reclining Janette: Study in Nude.

    Your humble servant (in complete confidence),

  2. Thankyou Jeeves, as ever your sartorial judgement is first class. Can you call someone at the ABC and find out when David Stratton is back from Cannes? I’m sure he’ll have no problem quieting down Mr Jackman.

    You are right of course, I do have excellent artistic judgement, but there are only so many things that I can focus on while I still have to implement our incredibly popular first term agenda.

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